Looks like it's been a while...

I am most likely the most inconsistent blogger out there! I see the last time that I posted was back in August. I could sit here and write a novel about what's happened the last few months but quite honestly, I don't have the time, need, want nor desire to do so but I'll re-cap and post some highlights just for fun.

I started a new job yet again, seems like 2008 has been a total epic FAIL when it comes to work, at least for me. Mostly because I hated 98% of the places I worked at, only 2 being the exception. What can I say I'm a picky bitch and if I don't like the way things are done then I just pack it in and leave. After my latest stint as a sous Chef in Westmount I was pretty much ready to burn my Chef uniforms in effigy which I think may have given me some satisfaction.

Then I lucked out and found the most amazing job ever! I can honestly say for the first time in oh I dunno the last 16 years I've had a job I actually LIKE where I work and getting up in the morning no longer makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a plastic fork!

Some of my clients though do make me want to stab myself in the forehead with whatever sharp object I can get my hands on. My work is a tiny place which I enjoy quite a bit because its more personal and everything is homemade which I love! Not to mention the Monday-Friday 9-5 hours and the 4 weeks off a year. But sometimes the people that come in or call drive me absolutely FUCKING INSANE! I work by myself until roughly 11:30 in the morning, I don't have time to answer the phone because *YOU* want to know what the special of the day is, come in and find out! Or better yet, get yourself put on the mailing list and like magic the weeks menu will appear in your in box first thing Monday morning.
Then there's the stupid questions, that I ain't even going to get into because there's just TOO many of them. Bottom line is I'm busy trying to cook and have no time to deal with your dumb ass! If you have a LEGITIMATE question in regards to the food or my cooking methods because you have special dietary needs or allergies then I will be more then happy to do my best to accommodate you, if not well then FUCK OFF!

These are 2 of my favorite customer related moments:

Phone rings:
Is this Stephanie?
What's the special today?
Sliced ROAST pork with apricot glaze and mashed potatoes
What kind of pork is it?
I didn't realise there was more then one kind of pork... As far as I knew it all came from the same animal (insert sarcasm here)
Well is it roasted?
(notice how I said ROAST PORK when I answered the phone) Yes...
Well how is it made?
In the oven... (to myself I'm thinking stupid twat)
well how is it served?
(again I said sliced did I not, oh yes, indeed I most certainly did) Sliced with a glaze and mashed potatoes and salad as per the usual on a plate.
Oh... and the soup?
I don't know yet the phone won't stop ringing and I haven't had time to make it yet.
Oh, well you sound like you're busy (well DUH! not to mention seriously annoyed!)
Why yes I am, as I ALWAYS am this time of the day. (again dripping with sarcasm, I really hate this old bag)
Well I'll see you later for lunch then.
OK then, I'll see you later (enter the fake nice voice here)

Fast forward to lunch, I ended up making lentil soup because it's fast and ridiculously easy to make in a pinch.

So she asks my co-worker if she can taste it... Of course she doesn't like it because she HATES everything that we make yet keeps coming back WTF?

Then has the nerve to say:"what did Steph do open a can of Campbell's? I called at 10:30 and the soup wasn't made yet." My co-worker says no, Steph makes all of her soup from scratch (which I do). Keeping in mind that our lunch service doesn't start until NOON as in 12pm and it doesn't take me hours to make soup, this isn't the dark ages. Us less bitch, comes in once a week and totally insults EVERYTHING! So I stopped picking up the phone on Wednesdays because that's when she usually calls.

Generally I try to make lentil soup vegetarian, the boss lady doesn't exactly always approve of me "accommodating" vegetarians because were not a vegetarian restaurant but I am a firm believer that especially if your making a vegetable based soup then it should be VEGETARIAN. The boss lady LOVES chicken stock a little too much and likes to add it to my soup because she feels it needs more salt, then USE SALT THEN. Fuck we have salt on the table, people can add more if they wish. I don't like to over season my food because everyone likes it differently.
Anyway back to the lentil soup incident...

A woman comes in and has a total hissy fit because I had no more veggie stock on hand and used beef stock instead. You should have seen her! It was priceless! Her eyelashes were batting a mile a minute and she's says to my co-worker in a rather loud obnoxious voice:"HOW YOU COULD MAKE LENTIL SOUP BEEF BASED FOR? ITS SUPPOSED TO BE VEGETARIAN!?!"
Sensing my co-workers distress I came over and politely stated that actually no it IS generally beef based. She wheels around and screams at me:"WELL THE INDIAN PLACE I GO TO HAS VEGETARIAN LENTIL SOUP!"
I just gave her my look of utter disdain and said:" well generally *I* make it vegetarian (which I do) but today I wasn't able to because I didn't have adequate amounts of veggie stock on hand for one thing and I don't know if you've noticed or not but this *ISN'T* an Indian restaurant either."

She left in a huff, OK by me!...

Oh there's so much more which I will save for another day because I just spent the better part of 12 hours travelling from Christmas and its time for me to get some sleep.


Adventures in interview hell...

So come home from vacation find out my job has been eliminated, whatever I'll deal. The only true advantage to working in culinary is that people will always eat so you generally don't lack for work. So after my mom left, I started looking for a new job. I had 2 contacts from my prior job one of which I utilized and the other one actually had a ad up so I replied to that. I hate going to interviews overall they just suck in general. So I go on the first one in the plateau and the guy was a bit of a dick head and he kept staring at my chest the entire time. I don't care if that's what guys do, horribly unprofessional and a total turn off. He just kept saying mmmmmmm the kitchen is really small back there, while staring at my tits. Gee are you trying to tell me something here?

I have to pay rent but this place was a turn off from the get go. Onto job interview #2. Yeah that place was beneath my skill in too many ways. Yeah I know that sounds snotty but its true. I have skills dammit and I will not waste them on some hole in the wall place making clubs, screw that! Went to job interview 3 was nice, I liked it, had a good feeling about this place. Reminded me of my former job I liked that idea. Was told that he (the head Chef) wanted to talk to the owner and what not before committing to hiring me. However I was somewhat left with the impression that I wouldn't start until late August/beginning of September and that would have left me screwed for rent. Whatever I figured I would deal because I just had a good feeling about this place you know!

So onto job interview number 4, didn't feel right, I blew it off figured I was getting my panties in a knot over nothing. Nice place LOOKED classy in the dining room was a good position (executive Chef) money was decent and the like. Got hired on the spot but I still had this bad feeling that stayed with me. I had a few days to ponder this, still had a few interviews to go on. The others are uneventful and not worth mentioning really. I was getting burnt out and I thought screw it, I got hired anyway. I thought YAY I'm going to run a kitchen and it's going to be awesome, my opportunity to shine and be creative blah blah blah...

Yeah I was wrong... SO very WRONG!

This pretty much summed up my first day:

I come in, the owner didn't even remember my name for one thing. That was a little disturbing but I let it go. Then he became a a tad bit of a condescending bastard, again I let it go new jobs are generally like that in *some* kitchens, at least for me. Then he got a little up close and personal while I was trying to work DO NOT WANT! Yeah I know I'm not a size two, don't have a flat butt and yeah my chest enters the room before I do. I accept that for what it is. I get bumped and elbowed all the time, it happens, I'm used to it and doesn't bother me unless it's intentional. I have never had my ass accidentally on purpose fondled so many times during one shift, that's where I draw the line.

Don't get me wrong I'm not a prude but if I wanted to get groped by pervy old guys I would have become a prostitute, the money is better. I just don't feel that's appropriate for work. That's OK though because he was feeling up one of the servers and "SHE" turned out to be a "HE" with a boob job. This makes me laugh to no end. Wonder what he would say if he knew that he was feeling up some girl with a penis.

Thankfully I also got hired at the 3rd place I went to so I told the Chef there that *if* the position hadn't been filled within a few days and he still needed someone then I was all his. I was and am still OK with being a Sous Chef and I had a better feeling about this new place but I committed to starting a new job so I felt obligated to follow through. Thankfully the job was still mine so I gave it a go on Wed, MUCH better. There was several other things about that place that rubbed me the wrong way but I'm not even going to get into those. All I have to say is this: Just because it looks high end and classy in the dining room, doesn't mean that the kitchen where your expensive food comes from has the same appeal. Put it this way *I* didn't feel safe eating there. I'll just let you come to your own conclusions about that.

I will not lower my standards or sell myself short, because I'm good at what I do and I know it. I had one last shift on Tuesday, because I DO need to pay rent. If he touched me again, I would have broken his arm, then maybe he'll learn the meaning of DO NOT WANT! I am NOT going to be someone's squeeze toy. I'm not sorry I left, they didn't deserve any notice, and I had another job lined up so I wasn't worried. New place very much reminds me of my old job except here I have to work lol. I like it though, the staff is really cool. I'll likely never see my pay from that place, that's fine the labor board will love to hear about his escapades I'm sure. I'm thinking I should also get in touch with kitchen nightmares, Ramsey would have a field day in that place. The menu itself isn't bad but the environment it's made in is a whole other story!


Good lord!

The people who live above me are driving me nuts! They're either yelling and screaming until the wee hours of the morning, or stomping around like a herd of elephants because they're pissed at each other for something.

OR: people the know come by and instead of using the intercom like normal people would do, they stand in front of my bedroom window (I'm in the sub basement and their living room is above me) and scream until someone comes to the balcony door!

Do you really need to stand outside and have a conversation with them? Is there some reason why you'll be their friend but not go into their house?
I'm e-mailing my landlord and filing a complaint because this is getting ridiculous beyond all compare. Yet when my mom and aunt were here visiting, someone had the nerve to come to my living room window and tell us to shush! Can't come to my damn door though can you? WTF is wrong with you!

I start my new job today so at least I'll be out of the house and not having to listen to this shit. Work has me kind of freaked out since I haven't seen the menu or the kitchen yet and I'm supposed to be in charge. This is going to be interesting...



Technically this doesn't belong here per say but I had to post this because it's just nuts!

Like all pictures on here, you need to click on the picture to truly see it's size.

Would you be scared to drive across this bridge ?. ...

The Millau viaduct is part of the new E11 expressway connecting
Paris and Barcelona and features the highest bridge piers ever
constructed. The tallest is 240 meters (787 feet) high and the
overall height will be an impressive 336 meters (1102 feet), making
this the highest bridge in the world.


Ignorant people!

Holy shit, some people just fucking kill me seriously! Today is John's birthday and he's doing the family thing so we did the birthday thing together on Friday. So on Thursday I finally got off my derrière and decided where I was going to go and get John's gifts. So I went to EBgames
got his first gift card(they were great BTW) and I went to Simons to get his other one. I've never stepped foot into that place before and the chances of me stepping foot into there ever again are pretty much NIL...
The first person I spoke to was exceptionally helpful and really nice, kudos to her, although someone should show her how to put on mascara properly. Anyway after waiting in line behind a few yuppies returning things I finally got my turn. He was polite but I got one serious look of total disdain. It's not as if I showed up wearing this:

Redneck Tanktop
Or looked like this:
redneck girl/boy
Not that it would have mattered anyway my damn money is just as good as anyone else's!
I asked for a gift card, I was promptly corrected by being told it was a gift certificate. Well la de fucking duh! Most people use gift cards now and days, whatever...

Snotty cashier guy: How much would you like on your card?
Me: $40.00 dollars please
Snotty cashier guy: gives me a look like I just asked him for a gift certificate with $2.50 cents on it.
me: I glared at him, gave him my money.
Snotty cashier guy: Takes his sweet old time filling it out by hand and then says to me " would you like to borrow my pen so that you can put the name in so that it matches the rest of the writing in this lovely green ink that matches so nicely?"
Me: yeah sure why not, he's sucking up enough of my time, might as well take some of his as well. I bet he dis-infected his pen after I left.
Snotty cashier guy: Do you know how our gift certificate's work?
Me: I just looked at him and was like WTF!?! Who doesn't know how to use a fucking gift card! I however said no I don't shop here enlighten me.
Snotty cashier guy: Gives me a once over and a looked that screamed yeah it looks as if you don't ever shop here. Then in a VERY condescending tone tells me about their return policy and the like.

Honestly I felt like Julia Robert's in that scene of pretty woman when she get's kicked out of a store after being told her kind don't belong there and then goes by later with a ton of shopping bags from high end stores.
Fucking ignorant cashier snotty prick wearing a fucking suit. Who in the hell do you think you are treating me like that! So needless to say, I have very little intentions of ever going back there. It's not like it's rodeo drive or something, buddy better learn to get over himself and damn fast! Just because I am (to coin a phrase from Clint) not a fashion plate. Of course, I looked on my receipt and of course the douche bags name ISN"T on the receipt. Whatever I'll take my money elsewhere cos I don't give a shit where my smoochiekins shops cos his clothes look better on my floor anyway!


Dear God!

I don't have much to write about these days mostly because I'm not doing what I was hired to do. Long story and totally not worth mentioning.

Maybe they'll fire my ass like Chartwell's did. Then again Chartwell's fired me based on Principle but they were waving my blog in my face, this of course is according to Benoit. Which is pronounced Ben-WA you know as in Ben WA balls ha ha!

Nice that I can talk freely about this, see they were just pissed because I spoke the truth of what working there is really like so let them try and come after me for libel because they can't Na Na Na Na FUCK YOU!

Apparently I dissed the managers, that's hilarious. Because I said they were wasting my cell phone minutes? Or how about the fact that they got sucked in by that pretty face and he ended up ripping off the company for hardcore amounts of money?

Can't fire me now can you fuckers! So Jacques you can go fuck yourself too OK. Yeah I just recently quit smoking, so i'm a little cranky. Deal with it :p


Bill gates telling it like it is.

I was having a similar conversation with someone earlier today and even though I can't stand him, the points are valid and totally worth sharing as well.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually
have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.


Convience store horror & hillarioty ( another random rant)

This happened on Saturday but the events of the day were just too outrageous not to post. I scored the weekend off so I went to visit a friend in the west island. Stopped off at Arahova's for some food before I ran over to her place so we could have lunch together.

Since she's moving out, I figured i'll stop off at the dep near her house and pick up something to drink, that turned out to be a HUGE mistake. Generally it's not that busy when I go in there but this was the first time I had ventured in there on a Sat...

The door flew open and a ton of kids came flying out and some of them felt compelled to stand in the door and scream to their little friends and in turn blocking my path. Keep in mind that I have take out in my hands since there were no plastic bags to be had at the resturant. I was tempted to drop it on their heads but I wasn't about to waste it on them. The line up was a mile long and I thought well with the monsoon of kids, that was somewhat to be expected.
They all finally cleared out until this older woman walked up to the cash and held the line up for an additional 15 minutes on top of the time I wasted waiting for the little irritating children to leave. Turns out she didn't have enough money in her wallet. She even went as far to empty out her change purse on the counter all the while holding onto her dog so she was doing this one handed so that of course takes even longer. After figuring out that she didn't have enough money, she wanted to pay debit so the girl scans her card and the lady just looks at the debit machine and has no clue what her pin number is! So then on comes the search for credit cards and the like, she finally paid and dropped her cards, her check book and her dog almost took off in the process... I mean seriously, who beings their dog into a store? Let alone buys more stuff then they have money for. Seriously, that makes me even more glad that I don't work with the public anymore!

So Carly and I go out for dinner( hours later)... On the way back we made the mistake of going back into the same store to grab a few things. Once again another hold up... This one was different though, the poor woman was new and poorly trained. Fair enough, I can be sympathetic to that. There was a few people in line in front of us including a fake tanned frat boy along with a gaggle of his friends buying a case of beer for his limo ride. So poor woman at the cash is trying to fix a void, and has someone behind the counter trying to help her so she's not paying attention to the people in line and frat boy takes off with said case of beer. A customer points this out to the cashier and she takes off and starts screaming at frat boy to give her the case of beer back. Meanwhile this arrogant, wanna be a thug sucks his teeth and calls the other guy a snitch. Customer looks at him and says excuse me? You don't steal and has this little thug bastard cowering into the chip rack. He should have hit the little bastard for being so ignorant but he didn't and the cashier raced back into the store, case of beer in tow. I twas pretty entertaining overall. Finally someone who knew what they were doing showed up and we finally got served. I'll miss her when she moves, but not that damn dep!

Altho in happier news, I started a new job yet again but I have a better feeling about this one. My most favorite thing from my last job was convincing someone who is not familiar with French acronyms that SVP (which is please in case you didn't know) didn't stand for Si Vous plait ( or however that's spelled), but SUPER VAGINA POWER haha


I'm finally back!

Dear God, I didn't have a PC for the longest time so I had to put my rants on hold.
Going to mix things up though for a change and add the random funnies section just because I can. Besdies, if you work in the resturant/hospitality industry you NEED to laugh and often it's good for you.

I'm also going to start a resturant reviews page. This may include but not limited to: places I have worked along with places I have been to and places to just flat out avoid all together.

I missed having a PC, I am so happy to have one back again!
So stay tuned for up-dates folks because they are a coming!